Living 4 Loving
December 8, 2008
12:31 am

Living to Love and to be Loved

Best Real Love Quotes
- 11.26.2008 - Article Number: 9

"A kiss is a lovely trick, designed by nature, to stop words when speech becomes superfluous."
by Ingrid Bergmen

"I love you, not only for what you are, But for what I am when I am with you."
by Roy Croft

"Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."
by Robert Heinlein

"It's so easy, To think about Love, To Talk about Love, To wish for Love, But it's not always easy, To recognize Love, Even when we hold it.... In our hands."
by Jaka

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."
by Helen Keller

"In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing."
by Mignon McLaughlin

"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction."
by Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
by Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved."
by George Sand

"The more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite."
by William Shakespeare

"Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition."
by Alexander Smith

"Love is friendship set on fire."
by Jeremy Taylor

Kiss me and you will see stars; love me and I will give them to you."
by Unknown

"The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman's heart.
by Josiah G. Holland

"The most wonderful of all things in life is the discovery of another human being with whom one's relationship has a growing depth, beauty and joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvelous thing; it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it. It is a sort of divine accident, and the most wonderful of all things in life."
by Sir Hugh Walpole

"Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love."
by Erich Fromm

"You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly."
by Sam Keen

"The most powerful symptom of love is a tenderness which becomes at times almost insupportable."
by Victor Hugo

"True love begins when nothing is looked for in return."
by Antoine De Saint-Exupery

"Listening is an attitude of the heart, a genuine desire to be with another which both attracts and heals."
by J. Isham

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."
by Lao Tzu

"Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul."
by St. Augustine

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Have you been Bitten by the Love Bug?
- 11.25.2008 - Article Number: 8

Have you got it? Have you been bitten by the love bug?

Every disease has it’s own unique set of symptoms. We often diagnose what we have by identifying them in our body. Can you diagnose love in your life and the lives of others –I’m sure you can. What are the symptoms of getting love?

1. Our Feelings
We most commonly detect love via our FEELINGS – tingly, exciting, happy feelings when it comes, it thrills us and brings us joy. These feelings color our experience of life and it’s ups and downs. We feel great and struggle to account for it. These feelings make life worth rejoicing in, we feel so connected, ready for anything.

But then when love is absent it brings us feelings of loneliness, emptiness, sadness and sometimes depression. Notice what the current popular songs singing about – mostly the feelings that surround having, getting or losing love. Consider how much time we spend listening to these songs, because they reflect how special love is to us, and how closely we identify with these feelings.

2. Love makes us Grow
We can recognize love’s special-ness by the growth it stimulates in our lives: rejuvenation, rebirth and energy come as result of being loved and loving back. We have love's energy, motivation and zip! When we are intensely loved we can often experience bursts of inspiration, creativity and personality growth. We have the confidence and belief to tackle things that previously seemed beyond us.

3. Love gives us Acceptance
A comforting sense of acceptance and security, a state of belonging, and knowing that we are okay in the presence of that someone special – a friend, a lover or special family member. When we are really loved we feel as though we truly belong and are always welcome, just as we are. We don’t need to watch all our p’s and q’s, and be on best performance, love takes us past that.

4. Love adds meaning to Life
We often recognize love, because we are suddenly discovering new meaning and purpose to our lives, an altering sense of significance and hope. We feel special, appreciated, and somehow important. We feel that our contribution is valuable, people are believing in us and we feel needed.

5. Love evokes sacrificial giving
Love changes us - we find ourselves wanting to give. We seem to come out of our comfort cocoon and want to share so much more (often without even consciously purposing to do so). This deep love within is leads to our sacrificial giving to the beloved, of our time, our energy, our money, our affections, our acceptance and forgiveness, etc. Love evokes special commitment and sensitivity to the beloved needs, and we want to pour out ourselves to bless them with our love.

6. Love makes us see-through
Love makes us transparent, we feel we have less to hide, or what we used to hide is no longer so ugly or unacceptable now. We recognize love’s effects when we see in ourselves a greater openness, and willingness to be known for who we are. An increasing awareness and expression of how we feel about ourselves and our world and what we personally desire. A refreshing transparency and honesty.

7. Love notices others more.
Love makes us more aware of the relationships happening around us. We notice more whenever someone else is giving attention or seeking attention – either positive or negative.

Love is amazing special in so many ways. An elixir. A tonic. A gift of living.
If you’ve got this love bug, there is a cure! It takes a little time sometimes, but it always works.

On rising in the morning take two medicine measures of complaints, preferably the kind that focus on what others have done wrong to you to restore your sense self-importance and pride. Then regularly at four hourly intervals one small spoon of doubt (doubt in the genuineness of other’s motives and what lies behind their actions). Taken regularly this medicine leads to worry and finally fear. This is guaranteed to close up the heart to the invasion of this love bug, as it has been shown in clinical tests to clog up the flow of love.

My friends be aware of the symptoms of the love bug, they can affect you quite seriously.

Until next time this is Pierre Basson saying …
“love till it hurts, and then enjoy it some more.”

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It’s Love makes the world go around
- 11.25.2008 - Article Number: 7

It’s Love makes the world go around

The universal expectation to be treated decently and fairly is the most glaring evidence that love is the one irreducible moral absolute.

Everyone knows that they ought to love and that it is the right thing to do. When you ask people how they ought to live, they will usually come up with the right answer: Do to others, as you would have them do to you.

Proof: simple observation of human nature indicates that all people everywhere hope and expect to be loved. Everyone wants to be treated with fairness, respect, courtesy, and honesty. People who are mentally and emotionally stable are not happy when they are assaulted, abused, slandered, lied to, cheated, robbed, belittled, or ignored. Rather, when treated in an unloving manner, most people react negatively. They become angry, distraught, disillusioned, or hurt, revealing that the unloving treatment was an unwelcome intrusion rather than a cherished expectation. People universally act as if they deserve the respect and dignity inherent in love, which proves that it is right to love, and that we all need it.

It seems safe to conclude that all people expect to be loved and therefore ought to love others. Refusing or failing to love others either denies that they are persons or reveals us to be inconsistent with our own moral expectations.

The Golden Rule simply summarizes what human behavior and personal expectations convincingly witness. Since we expect to be loved, we ought to love others. To deny love to others is to deny their personhood. And if all people call for love, then love cannot be consistently limited only to some people who we wish to love. If you acknowledge that you hope for and expect loving treatment from others, then your expectation demands that you also love others.

Love can be used to sell anything – by simple association.
Love can be used to sell anything by simply associating good feelings of love to the person or product. The offer of loving attention or lovable-ness, attached to having or using a certain product, has been a lucrative selling technique since way back. Today it is used to sell almost anything, from toothpaste and smelly cigarettes to fashion wear and automobiles!

Love gives meaning to our lives.
Love is undoubtedly the most fulfilling and satisfying experience in the world. It is indeed the one and only state that can satisfy us and meeting our deepest needs for a sense of significance and personal worth.

When people lose the love of their closest and dearest, it is almost always accompanied by a great sense of loss, and for the remaining spouse or family members, it can often mean a deep loss of meaning. They may temporarily lose the reason to carry on living. Unless they re-orient themselves, to other loves, they will wither and the joy of life will slip away from them.

It is a life and death commodity – it is not optional.
Medical research has shown that when small babies are given medical care in hospitals, but deprived of physical affection and attention they are most likely to die before age two. Hundreds have died in unloving clinical environments just from a lack of physical love. Love is vital to our survival.

The “love challenged” abound in our society – desperately needing love - the poor, the homeless, the aged, the handicapped are the most obvious, because they usually cannot buy it when they need it most. Often when they are eventually loved by a caring somebody, then their personalities blossom and flourish.

Yes, none of us can live without love, for else we wither, become mean and self-centered (and quite un-love-ly).

Love is Basic to Life.
It is a proven medical fact that love is vital to the survival and sanity of every human being. Medical case studies in maternity wards of hospitals have shown that, human babies who are given all they need (physically) but who are denied love and physical affection very often die! Everybody needs loving attention! As we grow older, perhaps even more so! We may not show the need as much (often as a result of hurt and disappointment), but we are all desperate to be loved.

Everybody needs Loving and wants Love.
Love is a “must have” not an optional extra. Without it we experience emotional pain, loneliness, insecurity and a sense of worthlessness. But when we are loved and feeling in love, living can be a constant high, a secure place, accompanied by a deep sense of significance and special-ness. It fills the emptiness within. It is a universal need we all have.

Love is the only moral absolute that is not self-defeating. Everyone wants to be loved, so everyone must love.

Until next time this is Pierre Basson saying …
“It may be love that makes the world go round, BUT it’s YOU that makes the love go round”

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What is so special or unique about Love?
- 11.25.2008 - Article Number: 6

What is so special or unique about Love?
Stop. Look at your thumb, now take a closer look. It looks like any other thumb right. Wrong.
Love is as unique as your thumbprint, there are no other copies in the entire world.

Have you considered what it is about love that is so unique?

Love is custom made, unique experience for each of us. Our experience of love is unique for each one of us. It cannot be objectively compared. It’s meaning is affected by our mood, our current needs, our past experience, and our interpretation of what constitutes loving action in different situations and depending on what we are focusing on.

Love is in short supply and is often elusive
Love is not a tangible, it cannot be stored up for a rainy day. You can’t put it in the bank for a rainy day. Circumstances change, and people change, they also move on and they all eventually pass away. Love is dependent on other people’s responses and their moods. Love is worth most when we receive it unearned and unasked for. Love is hard to define, and it’s impossible to measure, it is personal, and it cannot be controlled. Love means more to us in a time of need, and that’s when we least feel at liberty to ask for it. When we have to ask for love, it often seems less valuable, as though it had been demanded, rather than freely offered.

People will do anything to get love
They will try to buy , bash, beg or beguile to get it.
Many of us are chasing after riches and success, without realizing that it is actually love that we are wanting from our success. People will try to “buy” the love of others with gifts and favors. They will try to impress, or even manipulate or seduce, to get people, to love them back. Sometimes they will even humiliate themselves in order to obtain compassion or pity. Others will demand love, and try to control others, in order to secure their attentions and in so doing secure their love too.

Love is greatly misunderstood and often misused.
In the name of love many crimes and personal atrocities are committed each day. Some people even use our duty to love them, against us, to control us, to obligate us, or to abuse us, so that they get what they want. Selfish lust is often sold to us as “love”, and unless we know what real love is, we will become confused and/or deceived. Even religious people may at times be guilty of leveraging our obligation to love God and the church, for their personal gain and status. It boils down to someone saying “ If you are really loving, you will do what I ask of you.” Be very careful of that one.

Love drives our feelings – big time
Few other experiences can produce the emotional high that “falling in love” does. It makes everything seem like heaven. And losing it, can just as easily make everything seem like hell. Love can make princes out of paupers, but love that is lost can crush even its strongest victims like a marshmallow in a vice. The insecurity of an approaching love relationship can take even the strongest amongst us on an emotional roller-coaster ride, second to none.

Love evokes all kinds of feelings – satisfying, exciting, happy feelings when it comes. Thrills that bring joy, juice and jubilation. It makes life’s difficulties seem so much easier to bear, and life worth rejoicing in, but when it leaves or is absent it may leave behind feelings of loneliness, emptiness, sadness and even depression. Just listen to the current popular songs and notice what they sing about – all the feelings that surround love and the desire for it, or they bemoan the loss of love.

Love seeks to sets us free
Love’s goal is always to seek the increasing freedom of the beloved. And the goal of freedom is always to allow people the freedom to choose, to love or not to love. Love that tries to capture or control a person against their will is not really love at all, is it?

Love is special and unique for you, appreciate it that way. Take a moment to thank God now for giving you your unique experience of love .

Until next time this is Pierre Basson saying
“No-one feels love quite like you do, you_ are _special”

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What is So Special About Real Love?
- 11.24.2008 - Article Number: 5

What is so special about real true love?

I believe that nothing is more special and important for you and I than real love?

Many of us will agree and when someone says that love is the most important, most significant, and most desired commodity in the world. Yet we do not live our lives that way. Perhaps it is because we have not really defined it as such or have not been consciously able to recognize it and truly value practical love fully in our deepest beliefs about living.

We need to find, for ourselves a working model and perhaps even a definition or image that somehow captures the experience and meaning of “love” to us. Because nothing makes as much difference in our lives as love does!

Love is empowering and has a great positive influence on us. It brings happiness and fulfilment. It inspires us, makes us better people, it makes us stand tall and makes us givers. But despite this most people have hardly any idea of what love actually is or how it works. You and I have got to know as much as we possibly can about this all important, but often neglected and misunderstood thing, this stuff called LOVE! After all God is made of it and says he is the prime source of it.

In this last of several exercises on discovering what love means to us, we consider the some sample situations. In each situation ask yourself whether it would make you feel more loved and more secure in life?
Answer for yourself on a scale from 1 to 10

1. If you were given a million dollars to spend, on whatever you liked - would that make you feel really loved, secure and happy? What does that tell you about what you are chasing?

2.If you knew that your life partner would always be true to you and would always be by your side - would that secure your feelings of being loved and happy?

3.If you knew that the people that are most important in your life today, would always hold to the values that you do and support you in that way, would that ensure that you feel secure in love?

4.If you were prettier/handsomer, thinner, younger, fitter, would you be and feel more loved/secure?

Take a moment now to write in one paragraph, for yourself, what this love looks like, feels like, tastes like and is most like, to you. Do that now and you will find life a lot less stressful. Much of what you and I chase in life to get love is just smoke and mirrors and lacks substance. If you know what love is - then you don’t have to accept anything less. God is Love, and every good gift comes down from the father above. Just ask him for the love you need, after all it is his delight to give it freely to you.

Until next time this is Pierre Basson saying
“Don’t sweat the wrong stuff, when you’re looking for love”

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What Makes you Feel Loved?
- 11.18.2008 - Article Number: 4

What Makes you Feel Loved? Good Question!

Today we consider what it takes to make you feel loved. If you knew what makes you feel loved, it would really help you to get a lot more of it, wouldn’t it. It would be great if you knew exactly what it required for you to feel loved. You could then go out and get it whenever you needed it, rather than waiting for it to fall out of the sky onto your head. Who says you can’t ask for love when you need it, especially if you knew what you needed to happen in order for you to feel loved. Let’s do a little exercise together to take us closer to that place.

Let’s take a minute to think about what love looks like to YOU, by answering these questions for yourself!
How would you recognize love were you to see it or find it? (e.g. love’s qualities, love’s actions, attitudes, feelings, reactions, etc.) Make a mental of what comes to mind.

Another way to do this is to ask yourself ‘how do I recognize that I have been really loved by someone?’

How do you know whether someone else has been loving to you or not?

How do you know that you are being loved – what do you notice happening, what do you feel and experience, what tells you that this is love and not something else?

Let’s get more specific - think of someone you know well (Your best friend? A close family member? Your life partner / lover / or a potential one?)

Now, what has to happen for you to feel loved?
list in your mind the at least three important elements that represent “love” to you?
Love Element 1.
Love Element 2.
Love Element 3.
What were they?
Perhaps personal attention or loving touch, quality time together, acts of service to help you, special gifts, maybe encouraging words . . .

You have just made an important discovery as to what presses your “I feel loved” button.This is of incredible value. Now you can actively pursue and even ask for it. Take time right now to ask God to help you to feel loved a lot more often. Pray with me.
“Dear God. I want to feel loved more often. Help me to know what makes me feel and know that I am loved, and how to get it from the right places and people. Your child in Jesus's Name. Amen”

Until next time this is Pierre Basson saying …
“Don’t ever be ashamed of wanting to feel loved. We all need to FEEL LOVED.”

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What does real love look like?
- 11.12.2008 - Article Number: 3

What does real love look like to you? Can you recognize love when it happens?
Have you ever taken time out to consider what is love?
The Bible commands us to love one another as we love ourselves.
But what is love for you?
Is it when you get that long meaningful glance from your sweetheart?
Is it when you receive an unexpected gift from someone special?
Is it when your friend calls and offers you come over and help yo when you’re struggling with a deadline?
Is love a long quiet walk together on the beach at sunset?
Or a quiet dinner for two, with gentle music, a fire and candles?
Is it doing all the fun and exciting things together, from shopping to sharing jokes?
Is it discovering new truths together and growing closer, as we share great books and movies?
Is love when you choose to do what is right, even when no-one even noticed or applauded?
Or is love when in the middle of a busy and stressful day a dirty little face beams: “I got this for you mommy” offering you a bunch of wilting flowers from your garden?
Is love that which gives you ‘kicks’, especially if it’s exciting, daring or risky?

What does love look like to you now and how would you recognize it? Would you know it if it stared you in the face? Allow me to challenge you for a moment to think about it and list for yourself how you see it.

We rarely stop to think about it, and many of us simply assume that we either know the answers to these questions, or that they are obvious and that everybody knows them anyway!
Or else we think that we don’t need to know them or that no one can in fact know for sure – ever: After all, Love just happens – if you’re lucky – or it doesn’t if you’re not. And that’s that! Sometimes we assume it has nothing to do with luck but all to do with fate and that you were either meant to have it or not. You were either born blonde and pretty with just the right eyes and build, and therefore you have or else you don’t! Maybe you have the right parents, Or the money and so you will automatically have love.

But wait a minute: If we don’t even know what love is or how we’ll recognize it, how can we even start? Well, you cannot begin to find anything out about love if you do not even know what it is or how you’ll recognize it! Just as you cannot pick up a map and hope to find your way to a town, whose name you can neither pronounce nor spell, nor recognize it’s known landmarks, we must first know exactly what we are looking for and how to clearly recognize love. Take a moment now to think about love. Until next time when we pursue love further this is Pierre Basson saying “
Make love your quest and make love your satisfaction”

“It is better to stand in love than to fall in love”

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How do you know when you are experiencing love?
- 10.30.2008 - Article Number: 2

How do you know when you are experiencing love?

We would all like to be loved more and feel full of love – isn’t that so. But I have a question for you. “How do you know for sure WHEN you are experiencing love?” in other words
“How do you experience love, and how do you KNOW you are having it?”
Sounds like a funny question doesn’t it. Do you feel love when you’re biting into your favorite chocolate or candy? Of course not! Well maybe sometimes? If you’re sharing it with that someone special! So how do you know that you have been really loved by somebody (lipstick on your collar proves nothing?).

Wouldn’t it be lovely if you had a little light on the end of your nose that lit up every time you experienced love so that you and others would know it? No, it’s never quite that simple. Are you experiencing love when you receive a phone call from your favorite friend or a distant loved one? What about when you get up out of bed, and it’s a holiday, the sun is shining and the sky is blue. You’re full of energy, you feel great – is that love?

Do you experience love when a friend gives you an unexpected gift? The question is: are good feelings equivalent to love? What do you think? Does it follow then that if someone can make you feel good, that you’re being loved? If that’s so then there are some people that you and I could never love, because they live deep in the valley of depression and misery despite their comfortable circumstances. Does that also mean that it is easier to love a person who is in a good mood than someone who is angry? Are you feeling loved when you get what you’ve wanted for a long time? It may be a new gadget, a new relationship, a promotion, perhaps some extra income. Do you really feel un-loved until you get it?

If you’re expecting a definitive answer to these questions from me, you’ll be disappointed. How we experience love is a very complex and personal matter. Built upon our associations of experiencing love through a variety of activities in our past. We may experience love in a special touch, an encouraging word, a special gift, some quality time or even from an act of service. What makes you feel loved? Really loved?

Take some time during the next 24 hours to notice when know or feel loved, and what happened to make it so. I guarantee that if you do that for the next 24 hours, you will see loving in a new light. Every time you notice that you are experiencing love, thank God for it, it is a gift from God to experience and to share real love.

We all are seeking love, and yet most of us do not even know when we are getting it or not. How can we expect to find love if we cannot even recognize it? In the First Book of Corinthians Chapter 14 St. Paul challenges us to earnestly seek spiritual powers, but above all to pursue love as our greatest quest.

Until next time this is Pierre Basson saying …

“Find love in your life, and never ever, ever let go of it.”

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- 10.05.2008 - Article Number: 1

How do you recognize real LOVE?

Does your friend or partner walk around with a sticker on their head to tell you they’re in a loving or in a non-loving mood? Do you walk around with a badge on your chest that says “Please love me, I need it NOW!”

So what does real love look like? How do you know when you’ve given it or when you’ve received it?

It sounds so obvious but it’s not. Let’s check that out. Make a mental list of your answers to the following questions.

Who have you loved today? (List them in your mind – maybe your boss, a colleague, a customer, a friend, your parents or your children, your spouse or family?)

How do YOU know that you loved them. How can you be sure it was love?
(Was it love in your attitude towards them?
Was it perhaps caring choices that you made towards them?
Was it a tender touch or a kind word that you communicated?
What did you do?)

You may have sent love, but did they get it? Did they see it as loving? This is the tough part, because we have little or no control over other people’s reactions to our love deeds.

It is so easy to presume that because we loved, they automatically felt loved. You may even feel that they now owe it to love you back, but perhaps they didn’t even notice your loving. Have you ever felt that your loving was ignored, as though you were invisible. That no-one notices how loving you are – especially if you are a mom!

If at the end of your day you can list who it was that you loved and how – you are fortunate. For most of us one day just blends into the next, and we are hardly aware of when loving is happening or when it is not, simply because we live without feedback about how we are doing with our loving.

I want to challenge you to change this by taking some constructive action!

For the next five nights, starting tonight, I want you to do three things to help you review your loving. You’ll be amazed how this feedback will take your loving to a new level.

Firstly, take a piece of paper and on it list all the people you tried to love today, leaving some space between them for comments.

Secondly Next to each name note what you did to love them, whether it be an action, a prayer, your attitude, your words, your touch, your gifts or your time.

Thirdly next to each one list how you think they received your loving, and what makes you think that – for example what they said, their body language, how they reacted.
Then pray for them that they will feel loved and blessed by your loving.

Do that for the next five nights and you’ll suddenly recognize love in places and ways you have never seen it before.

Remember that much of the impact of your love is lost, if your loved ones do not FEEL loved by your loving actions. If in doubt, why not ask them whether they felt loved or not by what you did, and try new ways to communicate your love to them.

Until next time this Pierre Basson saying
“Everyone is looking for real love with a name and a face to it, and it’s you.”

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China Steel Mills Want January Start for Contracts, Group Says (Bloomberg)
Dec. 8 (Bloomberg) -- Steel mills in China, the world’s biggest users of iron ore, want to bring forward the start of annual supply contracts by three months to Jan. 1 as demand slows, said the China Iron and Steel Association.
Mon, 08 Dec 2008 06:52:12 GMT

China Steel Mills Want Change to Ore Contracts, Macquarie Says (Bloomberg)
Dec. 8 (Bloomberg) -- Chinese steel mills want to renegotiate annual iron ore contracts to start three months early as a global slowdown curbs demand for steel, said Macquarie Group Ltd.
Mon, 08 Dec 2008 00:07:11 GMT

Boynton Beach business owners want banners to bring customers back (Sun-Sentinel)
Banners would help, owners say, hoping Boynton Beach will let signs hang longer Struggling business owners at Ocean Plaza want to get noticed. They're starved for clients.
Mon, 08 Dec 2008 05:14:10 GMT

Parents want arrest in son's hit-run death (The Altoona Herald-Mitchellville Index)
The only gift Cheryl Kaiser-Coe and James Coe want this holiday season is justice. Justice to them is an arrest in the death of their son, Dennis Kaiser, 26, who was killed when a car swerved off Hartford Avenue in September and struck the Des Moines man and his horse, Matches.
Mon, 08 Dec 2008 07:06:08 GMT

Living 4 Loving

Living to Love and to be Loved

December 8, 2008, 12:31 am

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